last night i discovered a whole industry i had no idea even EXISTED previously.

the “sober companionship” industry.

like, let’s say you’re a teen heiress of a multibazillion dollar apparel empire, you’re never gonna be able to do enough drugs to end up at rock bottom, homeless on the street. you’ll just kill yourself first. so if you go to rehab, and want to hire help to take on the responsibility of maintaining your sobriety for you, you can just hire someone to basically accompany you 24-7 to make sure that while you’re travelling all over the planet on your private jet, you’re not getting high in any other ways.

it’s like if jules verne were to predict the fate of a 21st century “whipping boy” (or girl), it’d be this.

attention parents: make your kids struggle. this is what happens to people who don’t ever HAVE to do ANYTHING.