ad

by jenks

The Best Advertising Commentary You Have Ever Read. Ever.

http://static.shopify.com/s/files/1/0037/3762/files/jas4.jpgI don’t usually repost other people’s advertising commentary, but in this case it’s about an ad that I also happened to see at the same time as the author (left), but was unable to look at it long enough to articulate my own reaction due to the reasons described below. It was written by Jason Darling, an old, dear friend, serial entrepreneur, funny as hell motherfucker, and mastermind behind the gourmet confections at lollyphile, and the just-launched (yesterday) CookieMisfortune.

.
Aaaaaaanyway, here it is, the best advertising commentary you have ever read…..

taquito enlightenment:

Two nights ago I decided I wanted to get really, really, horribly, hungover-so-bad-that-you-seriously-question-everything-you’ve-ever-done-because-it-led-you-to-this wasted. And, somehow, I failed. Couldn’t get anyone on board, somehow. Ended up watching No Country for Old Men and turning in early. So yesterday I decided I was going to get wasted no matter what and I started drinking early and my memory is spotty at best after, say, 8pm, and thank god my wife doesn’t mind watching after me (or driving).

I’ve had worser hangovers, sure. That’s not the point. The point is that on the way to the French toastery, Simone stopped into a 7-11 to buy her wobbling, whining husband some Advil. I stayed outside. I couldn’t deal with fluorescent lighting, and the cold weather felt good. While Simone was inside, I saw this:

http://headrubby.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/img950997.jpg

And my mind broke. I thought I was hallucinating, or that the world had gone crazy. There are so many things wrong with this ad that your mind basically won’t let you look at it for long enough to comprehend how intrinsically wrong the ad is. It’s too big for comprehension. You just scan it, think “Hey, taquitos!” and get on with your life. I must have looked hilarious, barely able to stand, in the cold, and engrossed in a shitty taquito ad.

Lets go over it, though, because holy shit.

  • First of all, seriously what the fuck could Sherlock Holmes and taquitos possibly have to do with one another? There is exactly zero common ground. I promise you that there will not be a scene in the Sherlock Holmes flick where Downey turns to Jude Law and says, “Watson! Quickly! Hand me that taquito!” Maybe, maybe this would work for like coffee or something. But taquitos?
  • Also, the tagline. “Get a clue.” A taquito clue? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN. What should I be clued into? That taquitos cost $.99? Is that a sale price? Is it a good deal? I’ve never, as far as I can remember, bought a taquito, but I can’t imagine paying more than a dollar for one. Maybe if it was a bad pun: “Get a taqueCLUE.” Maybe then it would have some direction.
  • Holy god are those things filled with smegma? They are straight up coming out of darkness and are full of spoiled cottage cheese or something. They are foreboding taquitos. They are frightening, and maybe even evil. They are not meant to be consumed. And yet their name is written in wacky font, which is in such sharp contrast to the somber feeling from the rest of the poster that it makes the whole thing feel psychotic. This juxtaposition is why serial killers dressed as clowns is infinitely more frightening than serial killers not dressed as clowns.
  • Robert Downey Jr. is not just a smug asshole in the photo, he is a preternaturally smug asshole. This makes me question his motivation in selling me these taquitos. What is his ulterior motive? And where is the other half of Watson’s golf club?

This poster is like a zen koan. The longer you concentrate on it, the more likely you are to realize that there is no correct answer. There is no sense to be made. The flag flapping in the wind is as much my mind as my mind is a flag in the wind. There is no spoon. And standing there, sick, dehydrated, and weak-minded in the cold, drizzly, hungover morning, I came as close as I ever have to breaking through the doors of perception — and what I saw was Robert Downey Jr., looking like the supreme dickhole emperor of douche, trying to get me to eat smeggy, fried, 7-11 food. And I am afraid.

More Jason, if you can handle it, here.

    



Subscribe for more like this.






by jenks

New Buick Campaign Makes Brand Sound Like An Asshole

buick

Maybe this is a good idea if you’re deliberately trying to speak to that coveted douchebag demographic, but otherwise, this just comes off sounding like the advertising equivalent of thinking that knocking the popular kid will somehow earn you friends at school. You just end up sounding like a jerk.

buick1

Who Okay-ed this? If you don’t look closely you’d think this was an ad FOR Lexus. Comparing yourself to the competition (including reiterating their own messaging in your advertising) is NOT a branding strategy. Get your own identity, Buick.

Makes you want to sit at Lexus’s table at lunch just out of annoyance.

.

    



Subscribe for more like this.






by jenks

Surrogate Advertising

http://social-creature.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/3812283260_8bc237b0dc.jpg

Been meaning to post about this for a while, but been mad busy.

I’m super digging the ad campaign for the The Surrogates, due out September 25th. Based on the graphic novel of the same name by Robert Venditti, the world of the Surrogates is a future in which direct human interaction has all but ceased. Instead, people interact via surrogate androids, which they can design to manifest their most idealized form. If you’re balding you can have a surrogate with a full head of hair, f0r instance, or if you so desire, your surrogate could even be a different gender. It’s Second Life come to life: your perfect avatar, but in the flesh. Or ate least, flesh-like. These surrogate robots (which are owned much in the same way we own cars, with insurance and VIN numbers and whatnot) go out into the world to indulge in experiences without consequences, and through a sci-fi assortment of sensory inputs, their operators get to feel it all from the safety and privacy of their secluded homes. The movie stars Bruce Willis, but the ad campaign gives the star only a passing mention. Instead, the really clever thing about the Surrogates ads is how deftly they transpose the movie’s alternate reality into ours:

[surrogates-jeans1.jpg]

At first, glance, driving by, you think, from the poses of the models that the billboards they’re on are probably advertising some sort of industrial-themed new jeans brand or something. But after a few moments you begin to realize there’s something off here:

[surrogates-booots.jpg]

[surrogates-skirt.jpg]

And the question the billboards keep asking starts to sink in:

surrogates-jeans2

The ads succeed not by ADVERTISING the movie, but by projecting the very vision of the future portrayed in the movie –beautiful, doomed– seamlessly onto our daily reality.


.

    



Subscribe for more like this.






by jenks

today’s awesome ad award goes to:

.

Also awesome: wonderful and wondrous large-scale art creations shown happening absolut-ly anywhere but the desert.

    



Subscribe for more like this.






by jenks

Generation Fame

fame

“I think Andy Warhol got it wrong: in the future, so many people are going to become famous that one day everybody will end up being anonymous for 15 minutes.”
– Banksy

Well, it’s the future, and fame has propagated apace with Moore’s law. Thus, it only makes sense that 30 years since the release of Fame, the original High School Musical, the story of a group of students at a New York City high school for performing arts would be getting an iPod ad campaign-style makeover for the Youtube generation. Of course, you can’t tell an authentic story about youth culture, performance arts, and celebrity fetishism relying just on singing and dancing and acting and rapping and music producing and whatnot. In 2009, you gotta have  Circus! And judging from the trailer, the makers of the remake know das whas up:

    



Subscribe for more like this.