While trying to track down a quote from Bret Easton Ellis’s The Rules of Attraction, I came across a LinkedIn profile for Sean Bateman. In case you’re not acquainted with Sean Bateman, one of the main protagonists of the Rules of Attraction, here’s his LinkedIn profile:

Sean Bateman

Student at Bennington College

Albany, New York Area

Education

• Bennington College

Connections

2 connections

Industry

Music

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Sean Bateman’s Summary

I’m a Senior at Bennington College, though we mostly refer to it as Camden and pretend that it’s in New Hampshire. I live at Booth house, with a Frog roommate and a House Pigs house band. Sheer sensations.

My brother demanded I sign-up to “explore business opportunities”, but I’m not into that. I have ulterior motives, and her name is Lauren Hynde. I’m in the Computing Center, where Lauren once hung out, but she’s left, gone, history, vapor. The only problem is I still dream about her, and she’s all blue. It always ends up this way. No Big Surprise.

Every time I looked at at her I was struck by great-looking she is. And standing close to her, even if it was only for something like a millisecond, I overloaded on how great-looking that girl is. She looked at me in what seemed like slow motion. I could rarely meet her blue-eyed gaze back. She’s a little too gorgeous. Her perfect, full lips locked in on that sexy uncaring smile. She’s constructed perfectly. She used to smile when she noticed me staring and I smiled back. I’m still thinking, I want to know this girl. Being around her was sort of.. I don’t know what sort of is.

I’ll take all this down if she wants. I’ll deal with it. Show must go on. Rock’n’Roll.

Sean Bateman’s Specialties:

I plug in my Fender and play girls songs I’ve written myself and then segue into “You’re Too Good to Be True” and I play it quietly and sing the lyrics slowly and softly and they’re often so moved that they start to cry and

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Sean Bateman’s Education

• Bennington College

  Music, Rock’n’Roll, 2004 — 2008

  Majoring in Rock’n’Roll (before I was a Lit major, before I became a Ceramics major, before I become a Social Science major). I may switch to Computers. Whatever.

  There some things that I will never do: I will never buy cheese popcorn in The Pub. I will never tell a video game to &@#$ off. I will never erase graffiti about myself that I happen to catch in bathrooms around campus. I will never play “Burning Down the House” on a jukebox. I will never be one of the last people hanging out at a Camden party. Those people remind me of kids being picked last for teams in high school. It’s weak. Really improves one’s sense of self-worth.

  Activities and Societies:

  Hanging out (The Carousel, Commons, The Pub, The Brasserie, Burger King, Dining Hall, Ann Arbour is where it’s at).

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Additional Information

Sean Bateman’s Interests:

Coffee without cream (to feed my impending ulcer), girls (classy yet sexy), smoking, riding my motorcycle into town, watching people argue about Nazis, Planet of the Apes (I recently signed into Netflix), watching TV in the commons, playing my Fender for girls, music (Velvet Underground, Hendrix, Bob Dylan, Iron Butterfly, Zep, The Animals)

Sean Bateman’s Groups:

Sometimes I check out the AA meetings in Bingham

Netflix is absolutely an anachronism to 1987, when the book was published and one of the most important activities of the day was returning videotapes, plus the Sean Bateman of Ellis’s book was definitely not in college between 2004-2008, as this Sean Bateman appears to be. But who cares? The overall character tone, and many major and minor details are completely true to the original–not to mention hilarious in the context of LinkedIn–and even to the story behind the book. The college the characters in The Rules Of Attraction attend, Camden, is, in fact, based on Bennington (which is Ellis’s Alma Mater), and Sean is totally into Lauren Hynde. I’m even positive there’s a chapter in the book that Ellis straight up just ends on the word “and” like “Sean Bateman’s Specialties” section does above, so this Sean Bateman, who supposedly graduated Camden this year, nevertheless still even comes across like Ellis’s Sean Bateman who graduated 20 years ago, and if you dig a character, isn’t that all that really matters?

As soon as I got over how amusing it was that Sean Bateman had a LinkedIn profile I remembered that the character in Ellis’s American Psycho is Patrick Bateman, Sean’s older brother, and since Sean mentions his brother demanded he join LinkedIn, it came as no surprise, that–check this out!–Patrick Bateman, the protagonist of American Psycho is on LinkedIn. His profile actually is a lot more serious, and not as funny as Sean’s, so I won’t bother re-posting it, but if you happen to be a huge American Psycho nut, go over there and knock yourself out. He’s interested in “getting back in touch” evidently.

Social media as a platform for “characters” is as ancient as Friendster (man, whoever was responsible for the unbearably hilarious “San Francisco” profile back in like 2002, you were a complete riot!) and with the arrival of Lonelygirl15 and cewebrities like Jeffree Star, web 2.0, is veritably rife with “characters,” fictional and stranger-than-fictional. And, of course, there is the widespread social media “fan-fiction” of sorts, where people create unofficial profiles for characters they love, like the aforementioned LinkedIn profiles. But I’m thinking about something different from all this. I’m thinking of characters from character-driven stories on traditional media (books, movies, TV) living on in social media. I mean, really living there. Inhabiting the social media space with the same seamless familiarity that characters from novels cross over to the big screen. Communicating with us in their own voices, and with their own personalities that we have come to know and love, but in a new medium.

Michael Patrick King, director of the Sex and the City TV show and movie, would often talk about how great it was that they could really make the show authentically of New York because they could shoot scenes in actual existing restaurants and venues around the city (yes, I did watch the director’s commentary on a bunch of episodes, so?) The result was, indeed, a world that felt unmistakably New York, and establishments that no doubt were only too happy to reap the benefits of publicity in exchange. As an example of what’s possible with creating a living profile for a fictional character, an official Carrie Bradshaw profile, one written in her voice, that would generate content which would comply with the show’s bible and story arcs, could, for instance, feature a blog post mentioning a new restaurant she’d been to as a supplement to the show’s narrative. Suddenly the profile becomes not just promotion for the show, but, in fact, it’s own kind of channel. Creates the opportunity to start thinking about stories and character development in a completely new, almost infinite dimension that, of all the prior formats, perhaps only comic books came anywhere close too before, but this medium comes with something absolutely unbeatable: the opportunity to interact with these characters as well! If we are down to be friends with bands we love on Myspace, I’d bet we’d be into keeping up with characters we love too. Say, Bruce Wayne on Twitter? Or… Zoolander on Facebook? James Bond on BrightKite? Juno on Xanga?

Not that I’ve looked too far into this, I mean, maybe there are already plenty of major fictional characters out there living their daily lives on social networking sites, (I won’t be surprised if they’re Hannah Montana or iCarly or something) but I’m now totally fascinated by this whole idea. If anyone does know of examples of this actually being implemented: Fictional characters from stories in traditional media being (officially) brought to life with their true voice and personality, living and digitally breathing alongside us on social media, let me know.

Oh, and I’m back from my travels.

Hi.

UPDATE: Just discovered (thanks, David) that Mcsweeny’s is apparently totally on top of this idea, with their adaptation of HAMLET: FACEBOOK NEWS FEED EDITION:

Rosencrantz, Guildenstern, and Hamlet are now friends.

Hamlet wonders if he should continue to exist. Or not.

Hamlet thinks Ophelia might be happier in a convent.

Ophelia removed “moody princes” from her interests.

Hamlet posted an event: A Play That’s Totally Fictional and In No Way About My Family

The king commented on Hamlet’s play: “What is wrong with you?”

Hilarious.